Thursday, April 8, 2010

Young Love and Young Motherhood

I've heard it time and time again...
"They're way too young."  "They aren't ready for marriage."  "Look at what they're giving up."  "They haven't experienced enough." 

Sure, there are some truths in those statements about some couples, but not all.   My husband and I were married when I was 19 and he was 21.  I believe it was the right thing for Mike and I to do.  I believe God brought us together, and has blessed our marriage. No, I don't think getting married that young is for everyone.  I would probably even say that it's probably not for most.  But it was for us.  I love the fact that I'm 29 and already I've been with my honey for 1/3 of my life.  :)  And it's only going to get better...I just know it!  We have been married almost 10 years, and I've never...not for a second...regretted getting married at such a young age. I suppose if I were one of those business woman types I would probably be regretting it, because I don't have a college degree, or any kind of experience in the career world.  But I'm not one of those types.  not even close.  The thought of having a career right now makes me a little bit queasy.  It's just not me.  I love being at home with my kids.  Love. It.  It's what I've always wanted to do.  That's not to say that I think if someone else is, in fact, one of those types, it's wrong.  I have great respect for working moms...I really think they are some of the hardest working people out there! 

Let me also say that, yes, I've mentioned going back to school and getting my nursing degree.  But it's not because I really want to have a's just so I can be with women when they give birth...and be around all those babies. Childbirth is like my thing. :)  I do plan on this happening sometime in my future, but if it never happens, I won't feel like I'm not complete.  I won't feel like I'm missing out on something.  I feel complete, first of all because of Christ, but also, my dream has always been to be a wife and a mom.  And it's coming true before my eyes!  It's amazing!  I don't know why God has blessed me so much.  I certainly don't deserve it...not even one tiny itty bitty bit!  But I'm thankful every day of my life!

I've also heard people say that they regret having kids so young.  HELLO??  Are you kidding me?!?  Not only do I get to enjoy them when I have the energy to, but I also get more time with them.  Think about it...Lord willing, if we all live full, 80 to 90 year lives, I will get some 60-70 years with my kids.  People who wait till they're 30 or 40 to start having kids will get 10-20 years less than that! (of course, I realize that God could call any or all of us home at any time.) Yeah, these are the kinds of weird things I think about.  I know that maybe we don't have as much money as people who have been in their careers for a while have, but really, is it about that?  My kids have clothes on their backs and food in their bellies.  Most importantly though, they have all of Mommy and Daddy's love!!!  We've been able to take our kids to Disney Land and to Disney World.  And we're going back to Disney World next year. (that's the plan as of now, at least)  So it's not like our kids are missing out.  And if we were never able to do any of that?  So what.  They still wouldn't be missing out. I just enjoy being with my kids.  Plain and simple. 

If God ever called one of them home earlier than I would like, I'm just so happy and thankful He's given us this time with them.  I really try to not take my motherhood for granted.  I understand that there are women out there who would love to be mommies, and are having a hard time getting there.  I would never ever pretend to know what they're going through, or what they're feeling.  I can't imagine it.  And I think it does them an injustice if I would take the fact that I am able to get pregnant and have babies for granted. 

I recently came across some people online talking about how young marriage is nothing short of a disaster, and it got me thinking.  That's my opinion on the matter, my brain vomit, if you will.  Take it or leave it.  ;)

You know you're in love when you can't fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams.
~Dr. Seuss


Sheila said...

Amen Sister! Well said and I think you're absolutly right. I married at 21 and although I agree it's not for everyone, we've been happily married for almost 13 years and it keeps getting better! Plus I, like you, love being a young mom. I thourouly enjoyed your "brain vomit", thank you for sharing!

Neha said...

Tears welled in my eyes while I read this....Really happy for you! Of course, every one has their opinions and likes/dislikes, but there's nothing like coming back home to your family, your husband who loves you so much and your children who mean the world to you. I am 26, not married yet, doing well professionally, but yearn to settle down now. Really happy for you...and the way you wrote about your family and kids makes me want to have mine sooner!

MommaHarms said...

I was probably one of those who would have criticized - to me going to college and having a degree (not necessarily a career, just a degree) was important. However, now that I am a mom, part of me wishes I had started this process earlier. We would love to have more kids, yet I will be 30 next year and that seems so old to be having babies! We will try of course, but sometimes I wish we had already finished the process by now! I think you are doing an awesome job with your family, and they will always treasure having you at home, not running some career.

MommaHarms said...

And my post was not meant to be critical of you - I have learned that my stance back then was not always right. It was right for me, but not for everyone and I think you guys are doing everything very well!


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