Friday, November 6, 2009


Being the mother of 5 is no easy task, let me tell you that. I knew it wouldn't be, but I figured, hey, I've already got 4...really, what's one more?

Ummm, when it's the toughest baby yet, it's alot more!

This has been the hardest new-baby-in-the-house transition to date. I've mentioned that Jett has been super difficult to breastfeed, and although it is getting better, we've still got a ways to go! He's starting to spit up alot more now, which has me a little concerned that he's gonna be colicky or have acid reflux or something that makes him a complete crab!

Isaac has been doing great with him.......that is, until I want to nurse him. Isaac starts screaming "NOOOO" and gets really upset. I have no idea what the deal is with him. Maybe he thinks that Jett is hurting me...I don't know, but it's hard to explain to him what's going on. I mean, the kid is sucking on my boob to eat for goodness do you explain something like that to a two year old?

Elijah pretty much thinks he's a joke. Really. I'm pretty sure Elijah thinks we're playing a trick on him, and that we'll eventually send this kid back. It's not that he's jealous of him or's kind of hard to explain. He will run right up to Jett and yell as loud as he can right in his face, and he thinks it's completely hilarious. I'm trying to explain to him that he's a tiny baby and that he's very delicate, but honestly, Elijah doesn't know what the words delicate or sensitive or fragile or frail means. He's so rough and's hard getting that across to him.

The girls, of course, are completely helpful and so good with him! They really help me out so much. I should have planned it better...I should have had him in the summer when they were home from school to help me more. ;) Really though, we try not to have them do too much. This isn't their baby after all!

I had a good meltdown a couple of days after we were home from the hospital, and since then, I haven't really felt that anxiety, but it's still alot harder than what I thought it would be.

One thing I was probably most worried about was the way I would feel after I had him. Knowing he's my last, and that I will never again experience the excitement of planning for another baby, never experience another ultrasound, the feeling of a baby moving inside of me, the miracle of childbirth, all of that, well, it scared me. I was so worried about how I would feel the first time I saw a pregnant woman, and how I would react. I had been praying throughout my whole pregnancy that God would give me peace about it all if, in fact, this was His will for us to be done having children. I can truly say that I have felt absolutely no sadness or depression whatsoever since he's been born! I've seen multiple pregnant women and I just think to myself, wow, what an amazing thing to experience! But the most amazing thing about it is the fact that they will have this wonderful tiny human being at the end of it all. And I have 5 of those!! How in the world could I be sad about that?!?!? Of course, I will miss the whole experience of being pregnant, but I'm not one bit sad or depressed about it! I asked Mike a few days ago if he was worried that I would have anxiety attacks or anything like that, since he knows how obsessed I am with pregnancy and labor/delivery and all...and he told me that he was, but that he had been praying about it as well. So I feel so incredibly thankful to God that he has given me that peace!!!

And with that, I'll go get my crying baby. He's probably getting hungry...look out Isaac!! =)


MommaHarms said...

Praying for you Sarah!

Sheila said...

How in the world have I gone this long without realizing that you had a blog???
I know how you feel with the sadness of never being pregnant again. My baby is 7 and I still feel that way sometimes. I'm glad it's going well for you though! I miss you guys!! Can't wait to see you next month!


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